I’m not a proponent of any one type of meditation, which I define, for now, as quieting the mind, body, and feelings to observe and become more self-aware. I’ve practiced many different forms over the years and all have been beneficial for my self-discovery and for my physical, mental, and emotional health. Meditation, and other spiritual practices that I discuss on this site, have also enabled me to access higher states of consciousness and planes of existence that I could not conceive of before I began this journey over two decades ago. I believe that anything is possible once we learn to better understand ourselves and how to harness the energy and power we have within us.
What follows is a general description of common aspects to meditative practices, so that beginners will get an overview of what to expect. However, I strongly encourage you to find out for yourself the great benefits of meditation by dedicating regular time in your day to quiet down and simply observe what’s going on both within and around you in a more objective way. See these other posts for tips on how to meditate, the importance of objectivity, and how to begin to cultivate objective self-awareness. And, of course, see our resources for our favorite books on meditation and guided meditations.
Quieting the Mind
At its core, meditation is about quieting the mind, which is often full of incessant thoughts. Most of us are unaware of our thoughts when we’re on autopilot. We’re also largely unaware of the extent to which our thinking, which is mostly automatic and reactive, controls our lives and leads to habitual forms of behavior.
I call this voice in our head the narrator. And it is constantly speaking, that is; it’s often describing, commenting on, critiquing, and interpreting the world around us. We can get so wrapped up in this internal chatter that we ignore other aspects of ourselves, including our body and what we’re doing. We live in a culture of the talking head, unconsciously cut off from the rest of the human body. As we’ve added digital devices into our lives, this has only exacerbated our tendency to be distracted, as our attention is pulled further away from the body…
This constant talking is a sign of imbalance and distracted attention and leads to forgetfulness and a host of other issues. For instance, have you ever walked into a room and forgotten what you came there for? Or have you ever put your phone down to do something and then within minutes forgotten where it was? These are common experiences which are all the result of an overactive mind, often lost in thought, and distracted from the world around us.
Relaxing the Body
Meditation is also about reducing tension in the body, which we often carry unconsciously. For instance, check in with yourself right now. Do you notice any tension in your face, shoulders, lower back, hands, or legs? How about inside your mouth? Is your tongue relaxed? Reducing this tension and our automatic thoughts frees up energy in the body. This energy can be conserved or used more intentionally for other purposes. (See for instance this post on mantras/focus phrases; or this post on visualization.) Many meditations will help you reduce, often in sequence, all major areas of the body from head to toe. This is typically done in a seated position or lying down. There are also many forms of meditation that incorporate slow, intentional body movement such as Tai Chi, Qigong Yoga, Kirtan Kriya.
Anchoring Your Attention in the Breath and the Body
To quiet down and reduce these automatic thoughts and feelings, we must learn to anchor our attention somewhere. What is attention? Attention is the energy we use to focus on something. For example, shift your eyes for a moment from the words on this page to another object in your environment, perhaps the plant on your desk. This shift in focus is a shift in attention and it required energy to move it.
Similarly, close your eyes for a moment. What do you hear? Try to focus on one sound in your environment, perhaps a clock ticking, as if nothing else exists in your world for a moment. And then listen for another sound, perhaps the birds chirping outside your window. Then listen for another sound, perhaps a car passing by. Notice all these sounds; then focus back on one sound; then shift to another. What within you is observing, or noticing, all these different sounds? It is your attention moving from one source of sound to the next. There is something alive in you and once you become familiar with it, you can direct it–at will–to become more conscious of your environment.
Of course, as you play with–and become familiar with–your attention, or awareness, or whatever you want to call it, you will notice that there are degrees of attention. We can pay partial attention to one thing (e.g., a conversation we’re having) and partial attention to something else (e.g, a baby crying in another room). To increase our attention we must use our willpower; we must increase our effort to focus on one thing. And to do so we must reduce our distractions and center our attention somewhere.
Typically, many meditations begin by bringing your attention to your breathing. A slow and steady inhalation and exhalation from your belly is a common exercise. It is also common to bring your attention–or to sense–different parts of your body as a way to anchor your attention. Sensing involves sending energy from your mind to a body part; for instance, sensing the existence of your arm.
An easy way to discover this energy and how to direct it is by contracting the muscles in one of your limbs for 30 + seconds and then releasing the muscles. Then become aware of the sensation in that limb. As you release the muscles a sensation of energy in that limb remains. Try to deepen this sensation by feeling or sensing the existence of the bone in that limb without contracting your muscles. You can then move that lingering sensation to another limb without contracting the muscles as intensely.
One can also anchor the attention in body movement itself. See, for instance, this post on “the stop exercise.”
Sound and Imagery
Another common way to focus the mind away from automatic thinking is to use a mantra, or focus phrase. This is a word or sound that you repeat to anchor your attention and the sounds (really the vibrations) themselves can be used to unlock higher states of consciousness. Further, visualizations, such as using color or other images are often used to anchor the attention during meditation. This typically involves closing the eyes and then using your imagination to visualize images within or outside your body.
Again, this is a basic overview of common features to meditation. Each subtopic is worth exploring on its own and I have written other posts that cover each aspect described above in more depth. Also, check out my post about becoming familiar with and harnessing the energy of feeling, which is often an overlooked or under-emphasized aspect of meditative practices.
The Beginner’s Struggle
For those new to meditation, most will struggle with finding time to meditate, increasing the duration of each session, and staying interested in meditation long enough to realize its benefits. Your mind will provide you with an endless stream of resistance and excuses not to do it; and once your start to meditate, the mind will pull away and to do something else. This is natural. In fact, after many years of building up a stable personality, your brain will hesitate to change its underlying beliefs and behavior. It has helped you survive thus far, so why change.
Also we are not used to sitting still and being quiet. It seems unnatural and the mind can create so many distracting thoughts it feels unbearable to sit for long when you could be completing something else on your to-do list. This neural resistance is normal as we practice meditation we are literally re-arranging synaptic connections that have crystallized; and to grow new dendrites and axons requires energy. However, this resistance will diminish with practice.
My Own Experience
When I learned to meditate it was a struggle at first but not for the reasons you’d expect. I was disciplined about getting up early and setting time aside to do it. I also set time aside during the afternoon or evening to meditate, and I tried it both indoors and outdoors in nature. I was really curious about meditation and what the effects might be. So I did it. I was able to relax but I struggled to quiet down.
I’m a thinker and my thoughts are so intoxicating at times. I couldn’t resist the pull of my thoughts or the stimuli from my external environment, which would pull my attention away from myself.
I also had unrealistic expectations that I would just be able to quiet down for long stretches of time–as if I could simply switch off the narrator for a while and be still and silent. There were a few times when I even broke down crying because I couldn’t do it. I felt so out of control.
Turns out one of the biggest lessons for me during this time was self-acceptance. I had to accept the fact that I couldn’t control myself–my mind–in the way I had expected. Further, I had to learn to accept that the resistance I felt was a natural part of the process. I had to let go of the part of myself that is self-critical and goal-oriented.
By letting go, I discovered that, in the beginning, the spaces between thoughts were the key to the temple of inner peace, and with time I could expand those spaces by seconds at a time using my breath and the sensation of my body. I also discovered that in meditation there is a dynamic process at play: coming to silence and then losing it, and then coming back again, on and on.
Some days it will be easier and some days it will be harder depending on what’s going on in your life both internally and externally. The key is to stay consistent and keep treading water despite the undertow. You will rise and fall in the current but keep your head above water as best you can.
Finally I learned that I was simply building a new muscle. Just like learning to lift a weight in the gym, you have to start small and slowly build your strength. Further, you learn to use the resistance, the force of gravity, to increase your strength and stamina. The resistance is your friend; not your enemy. So embrace it. The best part is, unlike building a physical muscle, which can then atrophy if you don’t continue to work it; the effects of meditation for me have been permanent. Some days its harder to practice but I’ve never lost ground.
In the beginning, it takes time and effort but ultimately your consciousness shifts more toward inner calm, greater self-awareness, and the ability to focus your mind and relax your body for longer periods of time. Inner peace and a more positive and open disposition become your natural state, which leads to greater prosperity. And you can develop a dexterity to access these higher states of consciousness at will and deploy them to achieve anything you want.
So if you’re new to meditation and find yourself struggling, don’t give up. Keep going. Maybe you were too ambitious like I was in the beginning. Set realistic expectations and don’t be too hard on yourself. Rather than trying to sit quietly for 30 minutes everyday, start with 3 minutes then increase the time incrementally.
I would advise to start early in the morning as soon as you wake up, because your mind will be, on average, less preoccupied with the things that come up during the day. So before you reach for your phone, try it out. Put your phone away from your nightstand the night before if that helps.
Also I would encourage you to practice at night just before you go to bed, so that you don’t carry too much of your day and your personality to that sacred time. In future posts, I will discuss how to develop and use your subconscious mind and how essential it is to come to total silence before you fall sleep to harness you this supercomputer for insights and creativity.
Carve out time for yourself in this way and you will be rewarded in so many ways that you did not anticipate. One of the biggest effects is that you will begin to experience a newfound freedom from your habitual self–and this freedom, from habitual thought, and habitual manifestations of body and feeling, can lead to higher states of consciousness, better wellness and health.
In the meantime, feel free to share your experiences with your own meditative practice. You can reach me here.