The conditions are otherwise perfect. We’re alone. Our environment is free from distraction. We have been inspired by something in nature or a beautiful quote we read in a book that reminds us of our highest spiritual aspirations.
These feelings of frustration and disappointment can cause us to give up on our attempts to find stillness. At such a time, we may say to ourselves: “This is not for me. What’s the point of this? I have better things to do. How is this helping me?” And the thoughts churn. The mind continues to describe and critique what’s going on inside and the body begins to tense up.
When this happens remember that much of the resistance we face in learning to meditate is not our fault. We have spent years, if not decades, living unconsciously, often with no awareness that things could be different. This behavior is habitual; it’s our personality; and it has helped us to survive until this point. We cannot suddenly expect that things will be different—that we can quickly learn to quiet down without resistance.
Realize also that gravity is a physical and psychological law and will inhibit your attempts to quiet down. If you raise your arm and hold it there for more than a few seconds, you quickly see that there’s a force that opposes this movement and your muscles begin to ache. Similarly, when you try to reduce your thoughts and feelings there’s resistance. You’re going against the grain. There’s a force that opposes you and you cannot remain quiet for long.
However, remember that if we want to become physically stronger, we can lift weights. The force that opposes the weights as we lift them makes us stronger through repetition. Conversely, if we don’t practice we stay the same; or worse, our muscles atrophy. The same principle applies to learning to quiet the mind, reduce the feelings, and relax the body. In the beginning, we cannot generate the force strong enough to oppose our habitual way of behaving: our thoughts, our feelings, and our body posture, tensions, and movements. These phenomena have become so “wired” to operate in a particular way, called our personality, that they are barely noticeable and hard to change.
But with repeated effort we can begin to simplify ourselves. We can find moments of stillness and prolong them, and discover new facets of ourselves that we couldn’t see before. In fact, with practice, we can become more aware of ourselves and the world around us in surprising ways. These moments can nourish us, and motivate us to continue with our meditative practice.
There’s a lot more to say about this but I don’t want to put too many words or pictures in your mind. I want you to experience this process of self-discovery and to learn from it. Nevertheless, I want to point out, that to evolve in this way, it’s helpful to harness universal laws. One of those laws is the law of gravity. And this law has both physical and psychological effects on the human being. Remember that when you begin to blame yourself for something that you cannot do, especially if it’s trying to overcome a habit.
In sum, when we want to quiet down and we can’t, it’s only partially our fault. At best, it’s a little ignorance and a lack of repeated effort or practice. But also know that there are forces greater than us that oppose us and once we become aware of those forces, we can use them to evolve. Our thoughts, feelings, and body movements (posture, gesture, tone of voice, facial expressions, etc.), are hard wired in us at an early age due to our genetic makeup and the environment in which we grew up. That’s all part of the gravitational force pulling us back to our habitual self. And these aspects are set in motion and largely operate by inertia for much of our lives.
When you are pulled away from your practice by thoughts, feelings, or something in our environment that distracts you, remember to say to yourself: “It’s just the gravitational force. This force strengthens me.” And then repeat your effort to wake up to who you are.